Questions frequently asked by couples regarding the wedding ceremony.
- What are your wedding ceremonies like?
- What kind of atmosphere do you prefer for a wedding?
- Do you celebrate outdoor weddings?
- Would you be willing to celebrate a Nuptial Mass for us?
- Is there any one place that’s the most ideal place for a wedding?
- Are the marriages you celebrate recognized by the Catholic Church?
- So the weddings you perform are legal but who authorizes you to officiate at them?
- Do you perform weddings for people who have gone through a prior divorce?
Q. What are your wedding ceremonies like?
A. The ceremonies I offer are whatever you want them to be. I strongly believe that your Wedding Ceremony should reflect who you are and what your relationship is like. With that end in mind, I offer you a wide variety of materials and ask that you review them together to see which parts speak to you the most. I provide you with a work sheet to jot down your selections so that I can then pull them into a document for you. From there, you can make as many edits as you like so that the final document reflects you and your relationship. You can also bring your own favorite readings, poems, and prayers into your ceremony, including your own compositions or vows. The ceremony I offer is personalized and spiritual. I am the editor and you are its principal authors.
Q. What kind of atmosphere do you prefer for a wedding?
A. As an Officiant, I believe the ceremony should be a balance of comfortable yet solemn, spiritual and human – all at the same time. I want both you and your guests to experience your love for each other and your happiness in being together at this most important moment in your lives. It’s also important to me that your Ceremony reflect your desire to be together for the rest of your lives.
Q. Do you celebrate outdoor weddings?
A. I celebrate weddings wherever you want me to celebrate them, including in your home or back yard or at the beach. The only place I’m not allowed to celebrate weddings is in a Roman Catholic Church.
Q. Would you be willing to celebrate a Nuptial Mass for us?
A. Yes, I would be more than happy to.
Q. Is there any one place that’s the most ideal place for a wedding?
A. Some people say that a church is the only place for a religious wedding ceremony. The truth is, there is no one place that is any more sacred than any other. Jesus said that wherever two or three gather in His Name, he is right there with them. God’s presence is never limited to one type of location. We believe that God is everywhere. God is present in all creation and God is present in us, no matter where we are. So wherever you choose to marry – because you want God to be part of your life and part of your marriage – God is there. That place is “sacred space”.
Q. Are the marriages you celebrate recognized by the Catholic Church?
A. It depends whom in the Church you ask. If you ask people like yourselves whether the wedding I celebrate with you is a Sacrament recognized by God, the answer would be yes. If you’re concerned whether your marriage is a “sacrament” know that you are the Sacrament (a living sign of God’s love).You give the sacrament to each other by your marriage vows. It’s not I who gives it to you. I’m only there because you want a spiritual ceremony and because the state recognizes the marriages I perform as legal.
Q. So the weddings you perform are legal but who authorizes you to officiate at them?
A. The State recognizes my ordination because I am recognized as a validly Ordained Priest by the International Council of Community Churches. I have certification through that Organization and through CITI Ministries and its Religious Society, the Society of Christ’s Priesthood. The Catholic Hierarchy is aware that I was validly ordained a Catholic Priest but they do not allow priests like myself to function because we chose to marry without their authorization.
Q. Do you perform weddings for people who have gone through a prior divorce?
A. Yes. I make myself available to all people of faith, especially Catholics who choose not to marry in a church or who can’t be married in the church for whatever reason.
Q. What if one of us is Jewish or Protestant, or Buddhist, Hindu, or atheist, or agnostic?
A. No problem! If you are from a different religious background, we can bring in elements of your religious tradition – prayers, readings, ceremonies- and incorporate them into your wedding ceremony.
Q. What if we are a Gay or Lesbian couple?
A. If you are Gay or Lesbian, and prefer a spiritual wedding (in Massachusetts) or Commitment Ceremony (in Maine and New Hampshire) yes, I would be honored to be available to you.
Q. How long have you been celebrating weddings?
A. I celebrated weddings for the first seventeen years of my Priesthood as a Priest/Cleric and for the past eight years as a Married Priest, ministering independently of the Catholic Institution. Prior to moving to Maine in December 2006 most of the weddings I celebrated took place at the Martha-Mary Chapel at The Wayside Inn in Sudbury, Massachusetts.
Q. How long is your average Wedding Ceremony?
A. The length, just as the composition of each ceremony, depends on what you choose to make it. Most couples prefer weddings in the twenty to twenty-five minute range. My shortest wedding was seventeen minutes and the longest over an hour. When deciding on how long you want your wedding to last, think about including only those selections which best express your love for each other. Think also about your guests having to be there for the duration.
Q. What do you wear during your ceremonies?
A. I wear a long white robe called the alb, and a white stole. If you prefer I not wear it, I could wear just a suit and tie.
Q. Do you give sermons (homilies) at weddings?
A. I don’t preach but I do give short talks if you want me to. That talk is always about you and your relationship. To do that, I will need your input.
Q. Do we have to memorize our vows?
A. No, only if you want to. I usually have you repeat your vows, as well as the exchange of rings after me – phrase by phrase – after I first say them in a subdued voice.
Q. Do you limit where photographers and videographer can be during the Ceremony?
A. No. The photographers and videographer should be free to take the photos you want them to take. In other words, they should be wherever you want them to be and I don’t have any problem with that.
Q. What about rehearsals?
A. Because of my daily work schedule and commute, and the fact that I reserve weekends for meeting with couples and for weddings, I am generally not available for most rehearsals. If you absolutely need me to be at your rehearsal, I would have to take time off from work and there would be additional charges involved.
Q. Are you supported financially by a Parish?
A. No. I am not affiliated with any diocese, parish, or Religious Order. I support myself independently by a full time job.
Q. What do you charge to celebrate a wedding?
A. It varies depending on the venue. For weddings at resorts and at most function/event facilities within a 30 mile radius of my home, the usual service fee is $300. That includes one or two meetings with you, planning materials, preparation time, travel costs, parking/tolls, time involved in travel to and from the place of your ceremony. Outside a 30 mile radius, the fee would be more depending on the location.
For small, low cost weddings in homes and back yards, the fee is negotiable depending on your means.
In New Hampshire there is an additional charge of $25 for the fee I have to pay the Secretary of State's Office as a non-resident Officiant.
Q. When do you want the fee?
A. From experience, it’s best for both the couple as well as for myself to have the fee paid at least one week prior to the day of the wedding. What works best is for you to send the balance of the fee along with your Marriage License no later than a week before your wedding day. I cannot celebrate any wedding without having the License in hand. It is always best to pay the balance of the fee at the same time you provide me with the Marriage License.
Q. Where do we get the Marriage License?
A. At your local Town Hall or, if you are marrying out of state, at a Town Hall in the state where you will have your wedding.
Q. Could you do just a short civil ceremony without the religious element?
A. I can’t imagine why a couple would ask a priest to do just a civil ceremony. First of all, I’m not an official of the State, I’m a priest. The State recognizes me as a religious officiant, not as a civil one. And, if all one wants is a short, non-spiritual ceremony, they would be better off enlisting the services of a Justice of The Peace and pay a lot less for his/her services.
Q. What day can we meet?
A. Because of my daily commute from Old Orchard Beach to my job in Boston, I am only available to meet with you on weekends.
Q. Where do we go from here?
A. Once you’ve decided you want to meet, leave a message either on my home phone (207-937-2813) or cell phone (207- 602-8606) or e-mail. I ask for a $50 non-refundable deposit at the time of our first meeting if you decide to retain my services. This reserves the date and time for your wedding. I’ll try to meet with you on your first available weekend. The purpose of our first meeting is for us to get acquainted and for you to decide whether you want to reserve my services. We can also talk about the kind of ceremony you envision. If you want to meet more than once to discuss other issues, we can plan on doing that.